27+ min ago   (222+ words) Ever since Dracula arose from his crypt and visited a pretty young woman in her boudoir, vampires have been all about getting hot and heavy. They use their powers of persuasion and sometimes an offer of everlasting life. But now…...

5+ hour, 21+ min ago   (672+ words) Outside of the official memorial, tourists and those touched by the attacks stood quietly. Some stared up at the space where the Twin Towers once stood. In their place is a glass tower that shimmers in the sun. We had…...

6+ hour, 55+ min ago   (491+ words) There’s some weird shit going down in Europe, yeah? Lots of people showing up at ports to protest the arrival of (checks notes) ah yes, desperate families from countries torn apart by war, famine, and other climate change-based ills. (What,…...

8+ hour, 55+ min ago   (509+ words) Well, this would be embarrassing if anyone was still capable of feeling shame. What a stupid, stupid time to be alive. The New York Times got hold of documentation in which the contractor selected to install the pool liner, Atlantic…...

10+ hour, 26+ min ago   (287+ words) Do you own a Studebaker? If so, I guess you should go and drive it today, as it is National Drive Your Studebaker Day. How exciting for people who own Studebakers, even though I don’t know any of them. And…...

1+ day, 1+ hour ago   (177+ words) What did we learn today, my friends? Some things! We learned many things in the morning news roundup, as artisanally curated by moi! Evan had some things to say about these dusty old bigot losers, the very same ones who…...

2+ day, 3+ hour ago   (159+ words) It is time for you to SUBSCRIBE! They were good tabs! I said meatwad and beav heh heh heh. If you follow American politics closely, you may remember two minutes ago, when the most important question for serious journalists to…...

2+ day, 4+ hour ago   (757+ words) There’s good news and bad news for the Republican Party today. The good news is, President Donald Trump’s numbers are way up! The bad news is, those aren’t polling numbers, they are the cost of a gallon of gasoline. WHOOOO-EEEE…...

2+ day, 5+ hour ago   (462+ words) Southern California isn’t doing so hot right now, except in the temperature sense, which has made us all go a little bit nuts and yell at each other and roll stop signs and shit like that. (Just kidding, we already…...

2+ day, 9+ hour ago   (478+ words) During a recent interview with notorious hate group leader Tony Perkins (whom no one has suggested he denounce), Rep. Barry Loudermilk of Georgia complained about all the people complaining about inflation and the price of gas, just because they can’t…...