News
Kash Patel Spent 11 [Hic!] Months Investigating Comey's MURDERRRRR Seashells
3+ hour ago (824+ words) Below you will find footage of two men you couldn't be paid to show respect to, announcing yesterday that they are indicting James Comey for aggravated beachy Instagram seashell pictures. You know the picture. The one where he found some…...
Load of crazy! Wonkette One A Day for 4/28/26
16+ hour, 54+ min ago (307+ words) Christ what a load of crazy came at us one after the other today. You'll have to wait to read about indicting James Comey and smashing ABC's licenses for the tort of "aggravated Jimmy Kimmeling" and also he's putting his…...
You Are Not Ready For Trump And Iran And Whatever The F*ck THIS Was
1+ day, 30+ min ago (1156+ words) With President Donald John Trump getting shot at from a floor away, Epstein Files, immolating value of the dollar, and the rest of his never-ending litany of failures, did you forget all about the peace he is making in the…...
Come, Let Us Celebrate What A Sh*tty Few Days Bari Weiss Has Had
23+ hour, 21+ min ago (1181+ words) (Her sister Suzy's take on the WHCD debacle? "DUDES ROCK!" Wherein she explained that "It was a big night for men who use the word "vehicle,' opine on the Roman Empire, and show up as heroes when we actually need…...
UK's King Charles III, Queen Camilla Arrive To Charm Trump Into Being Less Of Daft Prat
21+ hour, 25+ min ago (277+ words) Watch the show live below, God willing: Never mind that maybe the whole visit should have been delayed for a security review following Saturday night's melee at the Hinckley Hilton. But tumblin' Trump picked himself off, dusted off his rug,…...
President Trump Demands ABC Fire Jimmy Kimmel. No, This Is Not From Last September.
1+ day, 3+ hour ago (566+ words) Having survived an apparent assassination attempt on Saturday at the White House Correspondents Dinner, Donald and Melania Trump snapped into action to calm a rattled America: They decided now would be a perfect time to revive their feud with Jimmy…...
Nobody Loves Raymond's Wife. Tabs, Tues. , Apr. 28, 2026
1+ day, 4+ hour ago (574+ words) Good morning, here are these tabs! The loser mom from Everybody Loves Raymond, Patricia Heaton, who is famously MAGA, has some real dumbass thoughts about the WHCA shooting. Oh shut the fuck up, Patty Heaton, you white conservative asshole. We…...
Another Good Old Normal Day. Wonkette One-A-Day for 4/27/26!
1+ day, 19+ hour ago (101+ words) Hello hello. Normal Monday after normal weekend in America. Let's see what Wonkette discussed. Wouldn't you like to Support Your Wonkette? The tabs, of course. "GOTTA READ YOUR TABS." That's what your Nana always said to everyone. Uh oh loud…...
Trump's 'I Am Not A Rapist' T-Shirt Has People Asking Questions Already Answered By Shirt
1+ day, 19+ hour ago (958+ words) Norah O'Donnell got the unlucky assignment of trying to get Trump to answer questions like a human being with feelings and empathy for 40 minutes. It went how these interviews always go with our beignet-brained president: like crap piled atop a…...
Ron De Santis Still Can't Get Floridians Excited To Bring About A Measles Outbreak
1+ day, 23+ hour ago (364+ words) These days, well, we don't hear quite as much about him as we once did. Weirdly enough, however, a new survey from Mc Laughlin & Associates, Donald Trump's favorite pollsters, shows that even Floridians are having a hard time getting on board…...